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From Prep School to Jail Cell...

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From Prep School to Jail Cell...

I want to share my story as I saw the add on tv and if I can help just ONE person with their addiction and struggle, it will make life so much more valuable- both mine and yours...

I grew up in San Diego, attended a prestigious college prep school from pre-k till I graduated with honors.

I was always an avid student and at 14 became a devout photographer.

However at 16 I was introduced to my sister's older friends who remained in the area. We were an eclectic, artistic, group ranging from age 15-28. There were about 9 or 10 of us.

I soon obtained a fake id and began drinking and smoking pot with them on weekends.

I had always felt like an outsider at my snotty prep school and loved being around witty, smart, artistic, older people- who I felt were like my family.

Soon one friend, introduced me to coke, ecstasy, meth, and mushrooms.

I enjoyed them, but was never one to seek them out. I was still a straigh A student Monday- Friday... I just partied on the weekends.

Eventually after my senior year of high school one of my friends and I got hooked on coke.

We both had huge "allowances" and blew it all up our noses....

After that I moved to Manhattan to attend NYU.

I dropped the "hard" drugs and just drank on weeekends with my sister and her older friends.

The problem was, they were heroin addicts (not my sister)

I tried a tiny amount once about a month after I got there, but felt very little.

I tried it a few more times on and off the next couple of years (I NEVER shot it). Most people say it was love at first snort/shot - but I actually did not like it.

After traveling to Prague for studies I met my future husband who was from the UK.

He moved to NYC 3 months after I left Europe. I got an apt with my best friend, sister, and a bedroom for my husband and I.

My best friend had been an addict in high school and suddenly she, another friend, my sister and I began having it delivered to the apt every weekend.

My husband arrived and said he never wanted to try it because he was scared of getting hooked.

But one night after some pre-drinking to go out, we had a delivery and he tried it. He said it was heaven. At that point I had begun to love it too.

A once a month use eventually turned to weekly, then bi-weekly, then daily.

We went from $10/month to $100 a day.

There were four of us and we were bound to it. Chained. Imprisoned.

It was heaven and hell all at once. Our lives revolved around it.

We all held down good jobs but ALL our money went to rent and heroin.

We tried to quit every week but could not... the withdrawals were too painful.

Eventually in 2007 my husband (ex now) found a suboxone dr and got clean.

One week later I did too. Neither of us touched it again. But the lifestyle was what I truly missed. I turned to cocaine and then spent another year struggling with that. He did too, but his depression got so bad he had to go back to England.

I nearly died from malnutrition etc..... I didn't even want to wake up in the morning.

My mom had to come get me from DC and drive me there. I told her what the issue was and I asked to be sent to treatment FAR away where I could not possibly get any drugs.

I ended up at a 120 day lock down facility in central India!!

It was brutal but I needed it. When I got home I missed my husband more than anything but he was drinking a lot and I was wary to go back. After 4 months he called and said a woman had seduced him and he wanted a fresh start.

I felt my life spiraling. I went on a bike ride and accidentally crashed and nearly severed my arm.

I was put on heavy pain meds for many months. I would carry my x-rays around to dr's and complain about the pain.....long after I should have been in pain.

I wont go into detail but I ended up trying to buy cocaine from an undercover police officer and eventually picked up my first felony.

My next was just 6 months later- prescription fraud. I picked up somebody elses narcotic cough syrup and they pressed charges.

i went in and out of treatment from 2009 until 2012 when I finally was able to stop with the rx painkillers.

Today I am finally off probation- as of one month ago and I don't go to dr's alone.

I spent a total of 5 months in and out of jail. It was humiliating and dehumanizing.

I put my family through hell and spent thousands on lawyers.

I never foresaw a life that I have today.

I still struggle with self esteem issues because of my past and what has happened, but I feel I will one day move on. I am 31 starting from scratch.....

In essence it is terrifying.

I hope somebody reads this and gets something from it.

This disease sees no boundaries. It is not about strength or weakness, will power or logic.

It is a DISEASE. It is chronic and it will make you do things you never imagined.

No child says "when I grow up I want to be a drug addict and go to jail after collge"

That's my story in a nutshell....


This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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Comments

1. Beatriz
Hi Debbie,Thank you for your kind words. I know you new blog will be fabulous. That is wofudrnel that you shared your genetic legacy with your daughters. That is so important and can make such a difference in someone's life to know their family history. Take care and best of luck on your new blog!