Becoming a Mother
"I see so much of my twin brother in him. In a way I got another wish, to see what life may have been if my twin brother were still alive."
Growing up, I couldn’t wait to become a mother. Watching them take their first steps or speak their first words. Then there’s the birthday parties and graduations. It all seemed so exciting.
I did eventually become a mother but in a nontraditional way. I adopted my twin brother’s son, after my twin brother died from a drug overdose.
Losing my twin was and still is the most devastating thing that ever happened to me. He battled with drugs from his teens through his young adult life. But in the end he lost. I miss him every day of my life and often wonder what life would be like for him and for me if he were still alive.
Well, my twin brother had a beautiful son who was just one year old when my twin brother died. I didn’t hesitate for a minute when I decided to adopt my nephew. I knew we both would get through this together if we were together. I needed him as much as he needed me.” Our relationship transformed from aunt and nephew to mother and son, literally overnight.
At first I didn’t know much about being a mother. But I became rather good at it.
I was there for his first steps, his first words and all those birthday parties. It was just like I had imagined.
But then the unimaginable happened.
While in high school, he began smoking weed and soon he became addicted. Our whole relationship changed drastically. He was always angry at me and we grew further and further apart.
I looked in his eyes and he wasn’t there. I knew the signs, the same signs I saw in my brother’s eyes. I knew if I didn’t do something he would die. This wasn’t going to happen to me again.
This is my “child,” someone I love with all my heart, with all my soul. Someone I want to protect, to see grow and enjoy a beautiful life. I was determined to fight for that life and save him.
I put him in a youth residential treatment program where he received treatment and counseling for over a year. He excelled in the program, receiving his GED at the age of 16 and then attending college at 16.
Today he is doing great! He’s clean and works out a lot. He’s a nutritionist and a magician and waiting to be called to be a firefighter. Although I lost my twin brother, he gave me this amazing gift -- the opportunity to know what it is like to be a mother, to love someone, sometimes more than you love yourself, to share a life and watch it grow and to truly make a difference.
I see so much of my twin brother in him. In a way I got another wish: to see what life may have been if my twin brother were still alive.
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