Addiction & Sobriety
I came from an upper middle class family, had everything I ever needed. I never had to worry about food, or a car to drive, or anything. My father was an air traffic controller and my mom was a nurse. I experimented with pot mostly until I turned 21 and started going to the bars. There I met a bouncer, and started dating, then I found out he was a dealer of cocaine. I ended up pregnant, quit using, had my son but I ended up getting back into using and I married my dealer. Needless to say it didn't last long, however I ended up pregnant again. I filed for divorce and gave birth to my second son a few months later. When my son was 3 months old he was admitted to the hospital with RSV and his father came to the hospital and said "hey do you want to try this new drug I have?" Well I'm an addict so of course I wanted to try it. That was the worst decision I ever made. One time trying and I was hooked, it was methamphetamine, the pure stuff and that was it for me.
I was introduced to another guy that was also a user, I ended up pregnant and quit using for the first trimester, but the urge was so strong to use I couldn't stay off the stuff. So I moved out of the house I was sharing with my sister, got my own apartment and then it was down hill from there. I ended up getting arrested 1 time, they gave me a chance that if I didn't get in anymore trouble the felony would not go on my record. That didn't work, we got pulled over in my car. My daughter's father gave me the drugs cuz he already been in trouble with the law, I took all the charges, I was arrested and charged with 12 felonies 10 thirds and 2 seconds. Man was I in trouble. I have never been in trouble before, ever, I have nothing on my record. I am in jail on a no bail felony on felony hold. I lost custody of all 3 of my kids cuz I was living on the street and now in jail. What have I got my self into? I have never been in jail and I was scared to death.
I was there for 32 long days. I realized at that point that I never wanted to be back there again. The officers in the jail kept asking me why I was there because I didn't fit the MO. I said that I just was making really bad decisions. So once I got out my dad let me move in with him and my mom, but my mom wasn't too hip about me moving in because I stole from them to get more drugs. I made a promise to myself that if I went out I would be back and stay in by 8pm. I was on probation and she told me that I could make her be my friend or make her be a cop. I chose the 1st one, I didn't want to go back to jail. So I got out of jail, got a job in 2 days and that's where my life started over again. I have earned everything back I lost. Most of all my family and my life. It is hard for about the first 1-2 years, but it can be done. I am so grateful that I still had my family for support and the support of my probation officer, if I didn't have them I would be dead or in prison. It is vital to have support when you're trying to get clean, but it can be done you just have to be committed. If you don't have any family support get yourself a sponsor from AA or NA and do 90 meetings in 90 days, that helped me and will help you.
This is for the parents of a drug addict: you need to have tough love, don't enable them like my parents did with me. My dad is a strong man and he thought he could fix me, when in reality I was the only one who could fix me.
Now I am married to a wonderful man, own a house and feel good. But in order to keep my sobriety, I have to give it away.
God bless and never give up!
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