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The Rollercoaster

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The Rollercoaster

My 26 year daughter began having problems with alcohol when she was 19. She got arrested for domestic abuse because her and her boyfriend at the time were drunk, grappling over his cell phone, yelling, and were in a shopping mall parking lot, so as this attracted attention, someone called the police fearing that my daughter was in danger. After the police arrived, they questioned the boyfriend and when asked if she had done anything to him, he said. "She might have slapped me". That was all it took and the handcuffs were on her and she went to jail until her arraignment the next morning. After that mess, which involved many court dates and hiring an attorney, things went smoother for the next two years. She was on the honor roll at a community college and didn't drink any more or differently than her peers. Then she got involved with other guys who had drinking problems and she became promiscuous, and started to lie about her drinking and I would find empty vodka bottles in hiding places.

It culminated in 2008 when she went over to her father's apartment, and drank for a week. She doesn't remember much about that week. I was supposed to take her to the doctor and when she wouldn't answer her cell phone, I raced over to his apartment and found her breathing but totally unresponsive to anything. I called 911 and she went to the emergency room. Her BAC was .572. From the hospital, she went straight to a rehab facililty. After her 28 days, she came home. She relapsed a few times and then started doing opiates (oxycontin) with her new boyfriend at my house. I had no idea. This went on for 6 months until he went to rehab and she weaned herself off. I told her to stay away from him but she lied and told me she was seeing someone else. Then she was addicted to suboxone and this was her tie to him. Her psychiatrist put her on Adderall for ADD after rehab and she started to flunk classes, become paranoid, and aggressive, not to mention very thin. Then she ran into an old classmate who became her new boyfriend and as of March is her "fiance". He uses Adderall, as does his Mother, and Brother. She has abused it too many times to count and I finally talked to her doctor about it, who cut her off, but she went in to see him, and he put her back on it.

She remains delusional- always thinking she is getting promoted but then someone else always does, neglects her horse periodically (the horse is at a good stable, so she's not being abused) She tells me stories about going to lunch with people and it's not true, or that the fiance was buying a foreclosed house, but it was his Mother's, and when she came to my house to withdraw from Adderall, we got in a scuffle because she denied she had run out of it 2 weeks ahead of time and I wanted to look in her purse. This turned into her later telling me I beat her up and that she had bruises all over. I had tried to push her out of my house, which was a stupid thing to do. Someone withdrawing from Adderall is not a pleasant person to be around and I was tired of this happening at my house and the lies, but that is no excuse for me. Not to mention, it doesn't work. When I tried to talk to the finance about her problem, he blocked me on facebook. So this is 5 years of going from one drug to another- one enabling boyfriend to another and I have started to get on with my life and think about me, but she does not want to admit there is a problem and how do you help someone like that? She thinks Adderall is the thing that helps her when it has done nothing but take away her real personality and any honesty she had in her. Her father and her are estranged as she tried to blackmail him after finding many e-mails from an escort service. He won't admit that he did that even though I saw the e-mails. He has a girlfriend who is in total denial. But he was willing to admit he is an alcoholic. I was married to him for 30 years and he was kind of a creepy drinker but didn't show any of the more obvious signs, I guess until after he left the family. And his Mother was an alcoholic too. I really feel like going to a new town, leaving no forwarding address, and starting over. She doesn't want my help, advice, or even love. I know people would say of course she does, but she wants the drug more than anything. Including me.


This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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1. Jane
For someone to talk to who can offer some guidance in helping your daughter and yourself, please call 1-855-DRUGFREE (1-855-378-4373).