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Soaring with Eagles

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Soaring with Eagles

My name is Naomi and I am in recovery from alcoholism. I got sober on November 24, 2008 and have not found it necessary to drink or use since then.

I was born the only daughter of my mother who is a single parent. I had a hard childhood and endured sexual abuse when I was 5 years and 8 years old respectively. I knew both my molesters and that's what made it so hard to believe. That someone so close could hurt me like that. One of my abusers was my step father who himself was a drug addict. My other abuser was a well known child molester who for some reason, was left free when he should have been jailed for his crimes.

I discovered alcohol when I was 17 and immediately loved the effect it had on me. The ability to take a few drinks and forget was all it took for me to get hooked on it. Although I hated the taste of beer, I LOVED the effect of numbness and not having to care about anything or anyone that alcohol gave me. When I graduated high school, I was able to not drink for a few years and in between graduation and college, my life took a turn for the worst. I moved from Utah, where I graduated high school, back to California, where I was born to Santa Barbara to attend college. I did that and received my financial aid money, but the apartment my family and I were looking forward to fell through and we ended up homeless and in a shelter. It was impossible trying to study, keep up with my chores at the shelter and get enough sleep and try to cope with the loss of home and security.

I met my ex husband at the homeless shelter and we become serious. I was only 18, but decided to rebel against my mother's direction and marry this guy that I met. I had only known him for 2 months, but decided I loved him and we got married. We had an always abusive relationship-mental, emotional, and physical. I became pregnant with my daughter and we moved back to Utah in 2004, where we lived until December 2005 when my husband and infant daughter moved back to Santa Barbara to try and be a family.

I ended up having a mental breakdown and the State of Utah stepped in and took my daughter from me and placed her with my mother. It was the hardest decision of my life to give up my daughter.

My husband and I stayed together until January 2006, when I told him I wanted a divorce because I loved another man. He lost his temper and ended up hitting me in the left temple with the tip of his finger. He gave me a mild brain injury and yelled in my face that I was a b****ch, tramp, wh***re, s**t, and everything else you can imagine. I went back to the homeless shelter I was living at and started to lose conciousness and the shelter staff asked if I wanted the paramedics called, I said yes, and subsequently, my ex husband ended up getting arrested for spousal battery.

When I was 21, I discovered alcohol again and it became a fast friend and companion. I drank whatever I could get my hands on, beer, voldka, rum, whiskey, etc etc, I even did prescription pills and sold them at the park to my fellow homeless "homies." I found a job at a telemarketing company and bought my own car. I started living in my car and was working only to pay for my booze and weed. I would smoke a joint and drink corona so I could pass out and not have to deal with the failure I had become in life.

I drank for only a year and a half about but went downhill very fast. When I was 23, I had my last drink. I went to a restaurant that served alcohol and proceeded to down the cup of beer so fast to get past the bitter taste. I also had dinner that night and played some pool with my then boyfriend, who was 54 years old.

I left the restaurant with a great buzz and figured I was okay to drive "home." "Home" of course being where I parked my car so I could sleep in it. On the way home, I passed out numerous times and had no recollection whatsoever of how I got home or where else I might have gone.

I came to parked and alive with my boyfriend in the seat next to me. That was in October 2008. I uttered that alcoholic prayer of "God, please help me. This has got to stop now."

I entered the rooms of a 12 Step Recovery Program the next morning. When I walked in the room, a very kind and loving man wrapped his arms around me and said, "Welcome, you're in the right place. Let us love you until you can love yourself."

I fought the program hard the next month. I would share things like, "you know, I can control my drinking, it's everyone else that hates me drunk."

I struggled hard against the program my first 3 months, mostly because I would talk program in the meetings, but on the outside in the "real" world, it was the same old selfish behavior from before I got sober.Today, I have been sober a little over 5 years and I am in love with life, living, and I know how to love myself and others. The choice to recover and work hard, long, and everyday has been a decision I have NEVER regretted.

My sincere hope is that my story will touch someone enough that you will want to seek help for your addiction. I did and it saved my life.

Thanks for letting me share.

This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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