A new life for me!
I'm Cindy and I'm an addict..I'm also in recovery, my clean date is May 15 2008. I wanted to share my story because if a junkie like me can get clean and change her life then you can too.
I suffered from depression, had low self esteem and just wanted to fit in as a teenager. I got caught up in the drinking and experimenting with drugs scene. I just wanted to feel better, I wanted everyone to like me. Eventually that led me to a life of just trying everything. I was a human garbage can, I didn't wanna feel anything, good or bad.
When I had my daughter at 26 I got terrible back problems. I found someone who could get me heroin to relieve the pain. That was when I found my drug of choice. I started out snorting ended up shoving needles in my arm. Eventually my back recovered but not because of the drugs -- the problem with heroin is if u do it a few times in a row you get hooked. I would get violently ill when I didn't get my fix -- throwing up, diarrhea, the sweats, fever, leg cramps, etc. Basically it was like having the flu but it was really withdrawal.
I left my husband, changed locations but I didn't get help. Eventually I had to start stealing (that wasn't how I was?brought up) to support my habit. It consumed me. I lived to use and used to live. I wasn't living, just existing. I hated myself and wanted to die.
Finally I had the gift of desperation and in 2008. I sought help.I went to detox, rehab and then a halfway house for woman. I was 44 years old and had lost everything. My family wanted nothing to do with me and my 15-year-old daughter had to move across the country to live with her dad. That was in 2008.
Since then I've changed. I'm now the woman I was meant to be. I found narcotics anonymous and alcoholics anonymous. The program of recovery saved my life. I got a sponsor, read the literature and I still go to a lot of meetings. I?love recovery, I lead a happy peaceful simple life now. I had to became honest open-minded and willing to do anything to recover. I changed people, places and things but most of all I changed me. I found myself. I went from a negative person to being positive and grateful everyday.
I got a second chance at life and I share my story to help others. My daughter is proud of me and each year when I celebrate another year clean and sober my parents who are in their 80s come and sit in the front row. I'm very happy today and I don't think of the old me. I sought treatment, I got help and I was willing to change -- that's the key. I have a fatal and progressive illness that wants me dead. I now have tools such AA, a network and meetings that I can use against my disease.
I only hope others who?are hurting and miserable can know there is a better life, there is help but you have to want it.
Wishing you all a safe journey and I hope you can find recovery and live a happy life. God bless you all!
This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.