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If you're sick and tired of being sick and tired

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If you're sick and tired of being sick and tired

Hi, my name is John, and I'm a recovered addict. I'm 49 years old and spent more than half of my life in active addiction, but I'm here to tell you, that you can stop and change your life.

I started doing drugs when I was 15, and did'nt stop until I was 44, and then it took me facing prison, and losing my wife before I stopped. I was one of those people that thought my drug use was my business and didn't hurt anyone but me. What a lie that is, my drug use affected every single person in my life, from friends, and definetly family. I thought ..I have a job,and pay my bills. Mind your own business. The truth is I wasn't paying my bills or taking care of my wife, and lost more jobs than most people have in an entire lifetime.

Early on in my addiction I started dealing drugs, and convinced myself that this was different than the people I sold to....they were junkies, I'm better than they are. Well that was BS, it seemed like almost overnight I went from a bigshot dealer to a low life junkie, doing whatever I had to do to get more dope. As time went on, and we moved from place to place city to city my problem just moved with me.Before I new it 25 years had gone by and I had nothing to show for it. I had sold or lost everything we owned three times over.

In December of 2007 I had graduated to transporting drugs from TX to Fla. to pay for my habit, which at this time was cocaine to the tune of around 3500.00 dollars a month. Needless to say after my 6th trip I was caught and arrested, charged with felony possession of marijuana. Believe it or not, this still didn't stop me. It wasn't until August of 2007c that I hit my bottom. I was doing what I had been doing for the last five years, come home from work and start smoking my dope until I was out of money and out of things to sell or pawn. It was around 2:00 am, and I had a moment of clarity. I found myself looking around my apt. and realized I was living in a crack house, that I built, no furniture no food- nothing but dirty walls a couple of filthy broken down chairs and a bottle of water. The next thing I can remember was setting on the edge of my bed next to my wife, crying. I woke her up , and said... I can't live like this anymore, then I dropped to my knees and begged God to either fix me or take me right then and there. That was August 7th 2007 I haven't used again since that day.

I was still facing some serious issues with the law, but I was clean. I started going to Narcotics Anonymous, and reconnecting with God, and found a new way to live. I won't lie to you it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but the best thing that ever happened to me. I learned that I didn't have to have drugs to have fun or to cope with my problems. There really is life after drugs.

I've been clean for a little over four years now, and by the grace of God I was given probation for my crimes, so I didn't have to go to prison. My life has never been better, that's not to say things are perfect because that's not realistic, life is life, and there are going to be trials daily. The difference is today I'm strong enogh to deal with them straight on without drugs.

My mission in life today is to share my story every chance I get, so that maybe just maybe I can help prevent one person from taking that long dark road I have already traveled. You have a choice, you can sit and feel sorry for yourself or decide "You're sick and tired of being sick and tired " and seek the help you need to recover. You have to find and ask for help, you can't do it alone.

God Bless

John


This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.

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Comments

1. Carina Bickle
Its crazy what we addics put our friends, family and selfs through. I've been clean and sober for a little over 2 years now. Keep strong! God bless your new life brother!
2. Ross
Every time I hear a story in a meeting or read one here, I can relate in some way or another. We get so wrapped up that we don't see anything but our addiction. We were the normal ones, everyone else has a problem with our drinking or using. Looking back, that was insanity. I loved your story. Keep up the good fight.
3. Jane
Keep up the great work, John!!