My name is Marlee, I am 21 years old and I am recovering from my addiction to pills. I chose Vicodin and Xanax mostly but there was nothing i usually said no to. Growing up I had a good life. Good family and friends, yet for some reason i always felt empty and alone. I kept it all inside until i got out of high school and lost control. I started drinking every day, smoking weed, and taking Adderall to keep myself focused in class. Once i figured out that i could take a pill and alter my mood, i thought i could never go back. When i turned 18 i went on a spring break trip to Florida with my closest friends. On our way back home my friend's boyfriend was coming down off cocaine, fell asleep at the wheel and almost killed all of us. I came to with blood running all down my face and no idea of what had just happened. We were all rushed to the hospital and after a few long hours i found out everyone was alive. After that my life was never the same. Something must have snapped in me because it was then that i started taking more and more pills, and drinking as much as possible to forget. I felt that I should not have lived through it, that my life really had no serious purpose. I just felt lost.
After a two years of bad decisions, rehab, relapse, and utter hopelessness, i met a guy who i thought i connected with. He convinced me to finally stop taking the suboxone i had been on for a year and all the other medications that i swore to myself i needed. Then about one month later i found out i was pregnant. He promised the world and told me everything i wanted to hear. After a couple months he started acting funny. Treating me terribly, getting very irritable and short tempered. He started going out and lying about everything. I found out that he was a drug addict as well, but an active one. He had chosen drugs over me and our child. After months of abuse and lies, stealing from me and from everyone around him, i had no choice but to walk away from him. He is now in jail and that was the last i heard.
It has been hard to deal with so much in a short period of time when normally my response would be to resort to drugs. My daughter is due in March and she saved my life. Of course he pushed for an abortion because he knew what i had yet to learn- that he was not fit to be a father and he knew he could and would not be there for us. I chose to keep my baby. If i hadn't there is no guarantee that i would be alive right now. I knew i was not strong enough at the time to say no and stay clean while watching him do drugs and party. This has been the toughest thing i have ever done but i know that i will never regret it because of what i am now blessed with. I have been clean for 13 months and i feel better than i ever have. God has blessed me with a beautiful gift and a second chance. Now i will live for my daughter and I will be stronger than ever because of it.
This Story of Hope was created in celebration of recovery and to let families know that there are pathways to hope and healing. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is the only nonprofit organization dedicated to helping families who are struggling with their son or daughter's substance use. Please consider sharing this page so that families know where to turn to for help, and that there is always hope.